"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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