Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
