I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
