I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
