My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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