just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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