I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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