This dress was meant to end up on your floor
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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