don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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