White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
