YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
