...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
