Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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