Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
