Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
