its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
They have beer where we have blood.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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