We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize