goodnight i made you a song goodbye
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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