My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
