how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
how does that bad decision feel?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
