I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
