guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
