He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
