Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
