a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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