There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
