Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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