While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
