Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I've blown a few things in my day
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize