Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
