i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
