She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
