he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
