yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
