i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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