just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
even my farts smell like vagina
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize