You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
