i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
