I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
