how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
