I need help removing her.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
