I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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