did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
