Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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