i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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