If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize