that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
