then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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