he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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