1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
