Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize