belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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