just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize