i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
