Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize