Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
