after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
