i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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