OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
