I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
