The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
