Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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