Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
