He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
