You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
