I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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