He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
