Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
