OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
