i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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