it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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