Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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