she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
